Breaking tradition
I was raised with the threat of “Wait till your father gets home!” from my mother. She also used the wooden spoon on my posterior end. This all came to an end when I was about 11 years old; I learned to wear 2 pairs of jeans when I knew I would get the spoon. She finally broke it in two on my double padded bottom, and after that day, the paddling stopped. I of course, would be screaming like a banshee. The penalty for faking this routine would have been severe.
This is where the groundings started and the smacks from dad, when he would get home.
This was all acceptable behavior for the parents of my parents. This is how punishments would get passed down from generation to generation. The absence of training classes available for young parents resulted in the perpetuating of these traditions. I was fortunate the belt, wasn’t one of my father’s favorite tools of the trade.
These days we all work through the same kind of situation (which would have ended in physical correction) with patience and strategies, teaching the reward systems and consequences.
This is really the better of the choices at hand as the physical abuse only kept the cycle of abuse going. One way the new strategies have helped is in the affection department. Young people these days seem to be more easily affectionate with each other and their siblings. This is a welcome change as the physical corrections diminish the child seems less defensive, and more participatory. This is not always true, but seems to be the direction of today’s youth.
Self-esteem is based on feeling capable and feeling lovable.
Jack Canfield
Aqua Da N’To Gi Sali
TimJones