BREAKING TRADITIONS

Breaking tradition

I was raised with the threat of “Wait till your father gets home!” from my mother. She also used the wooden spoon on my posterior  end. This all came to an end when I was about 11 years old; I learned to wear 2 pairs of jeans when I knew I would get the spoon. She finally broke it in two on my double padded bottom, and after that day, the paddling stopped. I of course, would be screaming like a banshee. The penalty for faking this routine would have been severe.

This is where the groundings started and the smacks from dad, when he would get home.

This was all acceptable behavior for the parents of my parents. This is how punishments would get passed down from generation to generation. The absence of training classes available for young parents resulted in the perpetuating of these traditions. I was fortunate the belt, wasn’t one of my father’s favorite tools of the trade.

These days we all work through the same kind of situation (which would have ended in physical correction) with patience and strategies, teaching the reward systems and consequences.

This is really the better of the choices at hand as the physical abuse only kept the cycle of abuse going. One way the new strategies have helped is in the affection department. Young people these days seem to be more easily affectionate with each other and their siblings. This is a welcome change as the physical corrections diminish the child seems less defensive, and more participatory. This is not always true, but seems to be the direction of today’s youth.

 

Self-esteem is based on feeling capable and feeling lovable.

Jack Canfield

Aqua Da N’To Gi Sali

TimJones

 

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BREAKING TRADITIONS

Breaking tradition

‘This I know, you are magnificent and extraordinary and loved. What else matters?” Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha

I was raised with the threat of “Wait till your father gets home!” from my mother. She also used the wooden spoon on my posterior  end. This all came to an end when I was about 11 years old; I learned to wear 2 pairs of jeans when I knew I would get the spoon. She finally broke it in two on my double padded bottom, and after that day, the paddling stopped. I of course, would be screaming like a banshee. The penalty for faking this routine would have been severe.

This is where the groundings started and the smacks from dad, when he would get home.

This was all acceptable behavior for the parents of my parents. This is how punishments would get passed down from generation to generation. The absence of training classes available for young parents resulted in the perpetuating of these traditions. I was fortunate the belt, wasn’t one of my father’s favorite tools of the trade.

These days we all work through the same kind of situation (which would have ended in physical correction) with patience and strategies, teaching the reward systems and consequences.

This is really the better of the choices at hand as the physical abuse only kept the cycle of abuse going. One way the new strategies have helped is in the affection department. Young people these days seem to be more easily affectionate with each other and their siblings. This is a welcome change as the physical corrections diminish the child seems less defensive, and more participatory. This is not always true, but seems to be the direction of today’s youth.

Self-esteem is based on feeling capable and feeling lovable.

Jack Canfield

Aqua Da N’To Gi Sali

TimJones

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ALL GOOD THINGS

All Good things to you always—Grandmother Parisha

I have a lot to be thankful for. There is the usual saying I heard from my parents “Be happy you have a roof over your head and food on the table”. I guess they were saying in their own words; be appreciative of the things we all might take for granted. Ok, that rings true enough. I can not only comprehend that statement; I can relate to it as well.  Our parents taught us the best they could, with what was given to them, by their parents. There wasn’t the zoo of child care advice books available to them. This doesn’t hold water for all the younger generations just beyond mine. There have been many books on that subject, written since my birth .I remember finding at least one or two Dr. Spock books on my mother’s reading night stand. This is not the Mr. Spock that my generation would later come to know through “Star Trek”. This was a Dr. of Psychology pioneering in child development. Good or bad, He had some new and different concepts and ideas regarding child –rearing.

Aqua Da N’To Gi Sali

Tim Jones

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THE RACING END OF IT

As you begin to take action toward the fulfillment of your goals and dreams, you must realize that not every action will be perfect. Not every action will produce the desired result. Not every action will work. Making mistakes, getting it almost right, and experimenting to see what happens are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.

Jack Canfield

The racing end of it

There were new rules and boat parts, and functions to learn. The eventual outcome was sailboat racing, 3 days a week for several years. This new way of boating, was just a continuation of our families’ togetherness upon the receptive, emerald waters of the region. We came to purchase a pontoon boat with an outboard to mix things up a bit. This 26 foot boat had a full 20 foot upper deck and was used all summer long. We also would trailer the smaller sailboats for weekend get a ways. The name of this boat was Ron-Dee-Vous. My father’s name was Ronald and my mother’s was Diane; dad called her Dee-Dee. This boat was also outfitted to be a race committee boat for the annual North – South Regatta. It served as an official’s platform and one end of the start finish line. These were professional sailboat racers from Northern California as well as Southern California. They converged on our small lake in May, when the winds were consistently strong and gusty. The absence of ocean swells and breaking waves combined with high winds made for an exciting variation in small boat racing.

The  Pro’s were also sail makers and at 500- 600 dollars a set (two sails) they had a profitable niche market in the sailors attending. Came from Huntington Beach,

where my father was raised. They also hailed from San Diego and San Francisco and some crossed state lines as well. All were impressed with the lack of huge waves and the 20- 30 knot gusts that were common place to our little lake, in the spring.

Most of our locals didn’t even qualify for this caliber of racers. Some volunteered to gain valuable racing techniques and share them with our own teams.

Aqua Da N’ To Gi Sali

Tim Jones


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BOATING WITH THE JONESES

Boating with the Joneses

Sailing to me is like meditation is to a monk – thoughtless and thought-filled all at once. I still remember the transition from power boating in our family to sailing. The switch came along after years of fishing and playing in small runabouts, mostly outboards, long before my waterskiing days. My family and I would depart the homestead – day tripping on the numerous irrigation control lakes in sunny central California. We would launch the craft, with lunch and drinks packed for new adventures. We explored every nook and cranny, cove and creek in the waterways available to us. This included stopping for the well-planned and executed scenic lunch sites along the way.

The type of watercraft changed a bit to propel us across the waters, yet the purpose and the spirit remained. My father was introduced by a friend to the new fascinating world of sailing. The boat was still pointed in the front (bow), the length was consistent at 16 ft. and water surrounded us on the outside. This was not to say with this new style of boating that occasionally water would rush inside the boat. This did happen, and effectively stopped all forward momentum as well as soaking us to the bone.

If you’re passionate about what it is you do, then you’re going to be looking for everything you can to get better at it.

Jack Canfield

Aqua Da N’ To Gi Sali

Tim Jones

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CHRISTMAS OF YEARS PAST (part 2 of 2)

Christmas of years past (part 2 of 2)

.When the morning came we both acted our parts of excitement for the surprise. Mom and dad were out of bed with robes on for the carnage that was to follow. All the kids were happy and joyful and followed the etiquette of save the paper for next year. We all exchanged gifts, and of course the bikes were front stage and center. My sister and I triumphantly rode our shining new bikes out into the street to show them off. I wasn’t as enthusiastic as my sister about my bike. When my dad asked me what was the matter? ; I spoke carefully.” I wanted a Schwinn bike, not a Sears.” I whined.

“Off the bike!” My father responded. I complied, knowing I had it coming. “Maybe I’ll give it to someone who will appreciate it” my father said towering over me at 6’2”. He took away the bike and for over a week deprived me of any contact with it. I apologized for my rude and ungrateful behavior.I learned a very important lesson of appreciating all that is given that day. I also learned to appreciate all that my father and mother had to work for to get us kids’ things we wanted.

Years later, when I was entering High School; I decided to de- commercialize gifting at Christmas.

That year, we as a family agreed to only buy small things like socks and underwear, gloves and knit hats. We all agreed that the whole reason for Christmas was getting lost in the retail sales. It worked!

We had a wonderfully simple value rich time of gifting things we each requested. We followed up with this a few seasons as my sister and I were both working. Over time we slipped back into the monetary value of the gifting. The earning potential for me was very good with my union scale job. I wanted to express this in my gifting. Once again, it was keep up with the Joneses; and since we were the Joneses it happened to fit.

As you begin to take action toward the fulfillment of your goals and dreams, you must realize that not every action will be perfect. Not every action will produce the desired result. Not every action will work. Making mistakes, getting it almost right, and experimenting to see what happens are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.

Jack Canfield

Aqua Da N’ To Gi Sali

Tim Jones

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CHRISTMAS OF YEARS PAST

Christmas of years past

I can remember many Christmas holidays over my years growing up.

I remember the one with the lesson for appreciation. My Elder Parisha Taylor has shared with me that appreciation for all that you have; attracts more of the same to you.

I was probably ten years old; my sister a year my senior and brother 5 years younger. I was all excited about what I was going to get for Christmas.

Christmas Eve, my sister and I snuck out of our bedroom late at night and foraged for the goodies. I had asked mom and dad for a Schwinn stingray with a banana seat. I was a guy, I didn’t care about the color; as long as wasn’t a sissy color (pink).My older and much wiser sister, knew not to look in the usual places the bike wouldn’t fit. We crept up the past the squeaky stair on the steps to the kitchen. Quietly, so quietly, we rounded the corner to the dining room and sewing room; both large enough to conceal our booty. I checked the rooms; no bikes in there. We bypassed the closets and went straight for the tree in the living room.  The living room was dark; as it was past the time to be out creeping. I could just see a glint of chrome from the fender of the bike. We crept closer, waiting for our eyes to adjust to the darkness and aware that mom and dad slept with the door open. The master bedroom was just around the corner and down a short hallway. I got close enough to make out the brand; it was a Sears’s bike! I was crushed; my sister saw her bike too. She was happy with the purple color, and we retreated to our bedroom to discuss our finds. Part one of two

The problem is that most people focus on their failures rather than their successes. But the truth is that most people have many more successes than failures.

–Jack Canfield

Aqua Da N’ To Gi Sali

Tim Jones

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